The love-hate relationship with yoga boot camp began again yesterday. I was so tired after my day at The Wedding, I knew I'd need to be on track with relaxation on Sunday. By the time I woke up this morning, I was feeling somewhat rejuvenated and ready to go.
Meditation felt so long today! I have already started the week feeling out of sync with my breath.
My legs are cramping. During class, it's my hips. In the middle of the night, it's my calves. So, I'll eat a banana and do some recommended "self love" although I'm not sure when. Mondays are tough. From yoga to work to the gym to yoga. I'm glad it's over with early in the week but it sure makes for a long day!
I sure struggled at yoga this morning. I struggle with the knowledge that already it has been so beneficial for me to do this but that I have so many limitations. Normally I'm not bothered by limitations, especially in comparison with others (yes, I compare. I try not to but am struggling with that, too! Even taking my glasses off isn't helping). And it's not that I find myself being competitive now either, it's just that I so yearn to have that beautiful, flexible body. I want to leap forward from down dog lightly and land softly. I want to be graceful and lean and long. I want. I want. I want. And so I try to let go of the stories, which I seem to be able to do during class. As soon as I get out though, I think about all of those other bendy people and I am really humbled by my own inabilities. I have trouble seeing the potential of where I'm at and constantly struggle against those inabilities. Letting go and letting my body be what it is has been so much harder than any other part of yoga.
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